TRIGGERS

Are you aware of what your triggers are, what easily upsets you?  Do you know what your spouse’s triggers are?  If you are conscious of what pet peeves you and your spouse have, you will be better equipped to manage your reaction.

Circle of Influence

Be mindful of the company you keep. It's been said that birds of a feather flock together. If you're constantly hanging around someone who is always negative, lazy, or complaining, more than likely you will start doing the same. Surround yourself with positive married couples that you can learn from, that share the same morales.

If your husband is constantly hanging with a friend\relative that is known to cheat on his wife, subconsciously your husband may think it's okay. Or if your girlfriend is always shopping and living beyond her means, you may be tempted to as well. Sometimes you can encourage and help others(if they want help), but are you willing to do that? Or, you may be the one that need the help, so you need to have someone positive to keep you on track and tell you the truth.

You also have to be mindful of what your watching and listening too. Again we still have choices, we can decide who we're letting in our thoughts, marriage, around our kids, our overall circle.

CHOICES

No matter what life throws our way, we still have choices. Women definitely have a controlling desire, and throughout life this far I've learned I can not control everything.  In the begining of our marriage I wanted to be in control.  For some reason I didn't think my groom was capable of making all of the wise decisions. 
 He wanted to make me happy so he allowed me to do many things my way.    

An Eye Opener

Wives, I had a wake up call… Since I’ve been on a mission to spruce up my marriage, all of a sudden it seems like people in my circle are experiencing marriage issues. What worked back in the day… isn’t cutting it these days. See, our husbands are finding out they have options… Well they may have known, but haven’t acted on them. These women are making it hard for them to resist.

BONDING

In case you haven't realized it yet, love making is one of the major ways of bonding with your husband.  I haven't always felt that way, and definitely have to be mindful to enjoy many times.  It's amazing how men are equipped with an internal clock that every 72 hours he's looking to bond with you. 
Marriage is a compromise, and bonding with my groom keeps peace in my household.  When he's satisfied, I've learned that he goes out of his way to satisfy me.  The stronger the bond, the stronger the marriage.   

The bad thing about a good wife

Wow! I attended a conference today, and one of the speakers spoke about Leadership, and how it was so imperative to lead by listening.  He spoke about growing your staff and making sure everyone is constantly learning.  What stuck out to me is when he gave an analogy, "The bad thing about a good wife". A good wife knows everything about her husband, his job, his likes, what he need.  However, the speaker goes on to say.  The good wife becomes comfortable, like some employees, they don't know what you want but know what you need.  When the position is mastered, we get complacent and is not keeping up with the changes that are going on around us. He said, the good wife may know everything about what her husband need, but failed to pay attention to the fact that her husband's wants changed years ago.  That is why it is easy for a husband to leave a 20 year marriage for another women who may know nothing about him, but is eager to listen and learn with the right voice.  Also easy for you to be replaced on your job, a new employee will be excited to come to work everyday.   Definitely have to pay attention!  Wow...

DATING

Do you remember how it was when you first started dating your spouse? We can never go back to the past, but we can start courting our spouse again. We have to take time out like we did in the beginning, to impress each other. Planning is the key, I was able to snag a great deal on hotel a month in advance. We both were able to take off from work; we had a family friend come over to stay with kids. I had my groom drop me off to check in Hotel, while he parked the vehicle; I rushed up to our room and decorated a little. I packed snacks, and wine etc. It was great, because he had to call me to get the room number, he was very surprised. We also worked out together in the weight room, walked downtown holding hands, and reminisced. 

Cherishing Moments

Live each day as though it may be your last. Sometimes we get caught up in wishing our lives away (rushing time at work) and not enjoying every moment that we are blessed with. Natural disasters happening all over the world, New Zealand, Japan, thousands of dead fish on the coast.
One of my co-workers always tell his kids, and wife that he loves them every time he speaks with them throughout the day. At first I thought it was a bit overkill, but now I realize I may never have another opportunity to tell my family how much I love them again!  I'm going to start doing that myself.. Wow....

TONE

It is very important to be mindful of your tone when you’re trying to get your point across to your spouse. Sometimes you may not know how you’re coming across to your spouse, and before you realize it, there is a shouting match going on that no one is winning.
It’s true you can’t change anyone, but you can change your reaction. I’ve learn that bringing attention to my groom’s tone (why are you yelling, or are you upset) will hold him accountable for his action. In which, he may have to do the same for me. It’s definitely a conscious effort, and may take time to adjust. What are some of your ways of avoiding heated discussions with your spouse?

FORGIVENESS

What a powerful word that can go a long way in any relationship.  Take time out today to forgive someone, yourself or ask for forgiveness.  Heal and free yourself and make a decision to move on.

My First Post

Thank you for stopping by my blog.  This blog was first started in 2009, but was never published.  I am so excited to finally share my experiences and learn new ones.  Although this blog will mainly be from a wife’s prospective, I will include my husband’s input or comments and others as well.  So let’s put on our boxing gloves and get ready to attack, distractions, laziness, unpreparedness and whatever else that tries to come disrupt our marriages.  Many people make a choice to take the easy way out, but my groom and I made a commitment that said “Till death do us part”.  Let’s go…….